When we got back from Catalina Island, he wanted to spend every single night over at my house. We had messed around a little bit on our vacation but I still wasn’t trying to sleep with him.
The more time we spent alone at my house, the more pushy he was on sex. It was seriously super annoying. He was like a little puppy humping my leg 24/7.
I decide to try and keep us busy, we go out to eat, go for drinks.
I cut his hair and told him to grow a beard. Which looked amazing on him. Like all beards do to men.
Whenever we hung out, he would ask me ”when you said this, ‘what did you mean’, ‘when said you that, ‘what did you mean’…there’s a huge difference in getting to know someone and constantly repeating yourself. I felt like I was always explaining myself and then when that wasn’t good enough, I’d have to explain myself farther.
When we weren’t playing 21 questions, we were reminiscing on what we did and where we went. Honestly, it was very frustrating. I wanted to just enjoy out time now.
Why do you want to talk about what we did and said 10 mins ago or what we talked about on skype. We had all this time to talk about that when we weren’t in person, why are we wasting our time on this.
Then he started making comment on my weight.
Listen here, mother fucker, this wasn’t some blind date, you approached me, you saw me in person and asked for my number. You liked what you saw, SORRY, if you thought you could just come in and change me.
That’s when I realized he was just kind of controlling and a real asshole.
One time, I wore this hot pink top to the movies and he said “I don’t think bright colors are for you, they make you look bigger”
Oh, ok, no problem, I gots you.
The next day, I found the brightest green dress I owned, wore it. He said “that actually looks really good on you”. Duh, that’s why I own it.
He would constantly make comments about how HE wasn’t eating and that HE was going to the gym. He would ask me if I was going to the gym also.
When I first met him, I was going to the gym every day. I had lost 20 pounds right before I had met him.
This kind of criticism does the total opposite of what he was trying to do, it made me not want to work out. I don’t feel like I have low self esteem and the hell if I EVER am going to let anyone put me down for the way I look.
I told him I was done talking to him and that if he was looking for some California barbie he could go find her because I wasn’t his to mold. After he said he was going to buy me implants. “Once you lose all your weight, I’ll buy you implants, so, you can have really big boobs”. Uuumm no thank you, I don’t even want implants, when these suckers are gone with the rest of my body fat, that will be a good day!
He still had a couple more days left before he went back and didn’t like where we left things and wanted to take me shopping to make it up to me. I got a few dresses, skirts, shoes and a few other things. I played his little game. If he was going to spoil me, I’d pretend to be the happiest girl and ignore all the rude and hurtful things he would say. I didn’t let the words get to me, I liked to think I have pretty thick skin and I can let that shit bounce off of me. Plus I was now at the point where I wasn’t even listening to him anymore.
Around Christmas, my ex and I started talking again, at first I was going to talk to both of them but I didn’t want to cheapen the relationship I was starting to rebuild with my ex.
The Australian asked me what I wanted to xmas, I said a new laptop. He started looking around for one and said we would go shopping when he came over here after the first of the year.
I started to feel bad for using him when I didn’t even want to see him anymore, I was so over it, I was over him and the thought of him just really pissed me off.
I decided to cut things off with him.
We went out to eat with once or twice when he came back in Feb but he was still being an annoying asshole and still didn’t seem to understand HE was the problem.
In April he was coming out here for the NASCAR with like 5 of his buddies and I wanted to have everything to do with that.
By this time, my ex and I weren’t really working out, there was way too much baggage and I just wasn’t ready to let it go.
So I swallowed my pride and tried to rekindle what the Australian and I may have had. It started off ok, we talked a little bit and when he came out here with his friends, I went out with them. We all got a long and it was a lot of fun, I thought “these were going to be the best 3 weeks of my life”, boy, was I wrong.
Anyone who knows me, knows I have a weakness for tall, bearded, tattoo’d, gingers and one of his friends just happen to be all of that. ARE YOU FUCKING kidding me?! I wanted him so bad. The Australian saw it right away and called me out on it. So I mentioned that maybe ‘we could all have some fun’. He didn’t like that so much.
I didn’t stop trying with his friend. At this point, I was over the Australian, I just wanted to party and have fun. I was a total bitch to him and just enjoying myself. He of course was heartbroken. I wasn’t falling for it but I also had to be sweet in front of his friends so that they wanted to hang out with me and I got invited to go out everytime.
Australian stops inviting me to come out. ‘There was just way too much anger and hurt from the “breakup”‘and he just didn’t want to deal with it but I know it was because he didn’t want me to flirt or hook up with his friend, understandable.
One night my friends and I go out downtown so I text Australian to ask if they’re going to be out. He doesn’t respond, I am pissed. I know where they might be so I tell my friends we should go there. We walk in and I see my ginger. I go and talk to him and he asks me if my Australian knows I am here. SERIOUSLY. So now, I am a fucking stalker, AWESOME! I decide to make the most out of it and made him and his friends buy me and my friends drinks all night, I am pissed, annoying and now being a total bitch to him, there’s no turning back now, you fucked up.
The day of the NASCAR races, I asked him why I hadn’t gotten an invite like he had promised me. He said sorry and to meet him down there at Bubba Gumps. We had food, drinks and more drinks. By 3pm, I was day drunk. Then I started with the emotions that I had buried inside. He tells me “I wish I could have met you before you became so broken” it was the realest, more heartfelt thing he had ever said to me, I knew where he was coming from and it was sweet. I just lose it and start crying.
His friends are freaking out about me being a complete hot mess. They leave and he tries to calms me down. We decide to make the most out of the night and head to another bar up the street.
He had said something along the lines of “my friends were right, you’re just a party girl and not looking to settle down” FIRST of all bitch…we’ve only been partying and drinking. AND let’s please not forget the most important thing of all, you’re married and live in another country. Ugh!
Although at this point, he really was separated and living in his other house, they weren’t working out long before I came around and I am sure I didn’t help.
At this point, I am hurt, drunk and over it. He tries to call his friends to come back. While he’s outside this guy comes over and starts chatting me up. I talk to him and he asks who I am here with, I tell him “that guy you saw me talking to” Australian comes back and almost knocks his fool out.
I tell him what the guy said to me but then his friends call him back so he goes outside and this guy comes back and asks for my number, I say ok. Biggest mistake. Australian sees me and tells me to “fuck off” and wants me to pay for my food, uumm no, I am poor. I calm him down and try to tell him that “he just wanted a haircut” we’re good but he’s super hurt.
When his friends show up they give me $20 and tell me take a cab home. Uuumm no, they end up leaving and I decide to give it some time and make some new friends. The other guy ended up leaving after he called my phone in the middle of all this chaos, idiot.
I feel kind of bad for how we left things and I also want my damn trip to Australian, that I so patiently had been waiting for, so I head up the street to Shannon’s on Pine. As soon as he goes into the bathroom, I wait for him and start in with the I am sorry’s and please forgive me. His friends are pissed, they leave and we go back to my place and go to sleep.
The next few days, I don’t talk to him, I do some thinking and decide this is way too much bullshit to deal with and it just not going to work anymore. There’s way too much damage and I am just over it. We had said our peace and it was time to move on.
The next time he came into town, he invited me to sushi, we use to go every Monday night, I say sure but then remind myself that I just have to let it go, that part of my life is over.
The time after that, he calls me again, this time I don’t answer. He emails me asking if he can get a haircut. I still don’t respond.
This week, he texts me “are we talking yet?” I respond with “have you bought a round trip ticket for me yet?” he says “lol, not yet” then I say “then we’ll talk when you do” he tries to keep it going with “do you know what today it??” I don’t respond because the only think I can think of is that it has to be the day we met a year ago.